Parenting Key 7 – Make Your Home a No-Fault Zone

“Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.”
Albert Einstein

We are close to wrapping up this review of Respectful Parents Respectful Kids by Sura Hart & Victoria Kindle Hodson, PuddleDancer Press, Encinitas, CA. 2006.

The last and 7th Key, Make Your Home a No-Fault Zone, reveals the true source of conflict and the path you can take to transform it into respectful connections. Self-assessment checklists help both parents and children to assess needs and evaluate the practices being used, or not used, to meet these needs equally with parents, children, grandparents, and siblings. These self-assessment checklists will be included in the next post.

These assessments should be reviewed regularly to become more skilled at what Hart & Hodson refer to as “Life-Enhancing Practices”. The key concepts driving the life-enhancing practices are:

  • Choose to see conflict as a problem to solve.
  • Trust that your needs can get met.
  • Trust that needs will lead to solutions.
  • Cooperate to solve conflicts.
  • Move from “battle-zone” to “no-fault-zone”.

The thirteenth-century Persian philosopher-poet Rumi describes the No-Fault Zone as a field out beyond wrong-doing and right-doing. If you create a place like this, kids will want to come.

“Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”

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