Self-Assessment Checklist for Parents

Sura Hart & Victoria Kindle Hodson in Respectful Parents Respectful Kids, PuddleDancer Press, Encinitas, CA, 2006 provide the following self-assessment for parents. It should be reviewed regularly to monitor the status of your efforts to improve your relationship with your children.

This type of reflection indicates how the many facets of life come together. If you haven’t read earlier posts on my 19 rules for effectiveness where I introduced the concept of the “wheel of life” and it‘s “spokes“, now is the time to search on “wheels”.

Self-Assessment for Parents
Circle the number that represents your current level of satisfaction or dissatisfaction in meeting the following needs. “5” indicates the highest level of satisfaction; “1” indicates the lowest.

My Relationships with Myself

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      nutrition

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      rest

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      exercise

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      fun

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      balance

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      self-expression

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      creative outlets

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      meaning, spiritual connection

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      learning, growth

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      contribution

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      companionship

 

My Relationships with My Children

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      safety & trust

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      mutual respect

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      co-operation

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      expressing my feelings & needs clearly

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      hearing their feelings & needs

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      hearing the needs behind their “No”

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      asking for what I would like without making demands

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      having fun together

 

My Relationships with Other Adults at Home

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      safety & trust

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      co-operation

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      expressing my feelings & needs clearly

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      hearing their feelings & needs

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      hearing requests, not demands

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      asking for what I would like without making demands

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      having fun together

 

My Relationships with My Parents

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      I feel safe.

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      I know they care about me.

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      I tell them what I feel & need.

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      I hear what they feel & need.

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      I ask for what I would want without making demands.

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      They ask for what they want without making demands.

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      We have fun together.

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      We make decisions together.

 

My Relationships with My Brothers & Sisters

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      I feel safe.

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      We care about each other.

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      We know how to work things out together.

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      I express my feelings & needs & what I want.

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      I hear their feelings & needs & what they I want.

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5      We have fun together.

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