“Grief has limits, whereas apprehension has none. For we grieve only for what we know has happened, but we fear all that possibly may happen.”
~Pliny the Younger, lawyer, author, and magistrate of Ancient Rome (61 AD – 112 AD)
Problem solving skills are a key element in dealing effectively with worries. Intensive pondering may distract you from your emotions. As you avoid unpleasant feelings, it seems like you are making progress. You no longer feel as anxious, but what if your emotions are the real problem? If you ignore them, the uneasiness they cause will eventually return.
Three of the most common emotions that accompany worry and it’s anxiety are fear, uncertainty, and doubt – which I referred to as FUD in
Here’s where we can go off on a tangent. Many books have been written about feelings, most notably in my mind, Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. This series of posts will not examine emotional intelligence in detail. For now, let’s just say that you should be aware of your feelings (i.e. anger, fear), embrace them as your reality, then quickly challenge the anxious thoughts that lead to your worrying.
Don’t ignore your emotions. Tune into them emotions.
Understand and embrace them. Learn to master them so that you make good use of them, perhaps by containing them, perhaps by freeing them, perhaps by changing them.
Emotions and thoughts are intertwined. Embracing your emotions may seem very difficult. They occur so quickly. Often they are accompanied by words and actions that you are not proud of. They don’t always make sense and they’re not always pleasant. But they are natural, a part of being human. They can be harmful, but also helpful.
What’s needed is a better balance between your intellect and your emotions.
Your feelings should not swamp you. Your logic should not turn you into a insensitive, hard-hearted robot.
How do you find that balance?
“Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.”
~Arthur Somers Roche, author (April 27, 1883 – February 17, 1935)